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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Something
Life
Dull
Short
Special
Full
Chance
Pain

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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
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I am two with nature.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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I foresee death by culture shock.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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