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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Touch
Except
Short
Anything
Life
Touches
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
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In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
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Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.
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I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
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