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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Death
Really
Way
Think
Expenses
Thinking
Ending
Effective
Cutting

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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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