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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Thinking
Ending
Effective
Cutting
Funny
Death
Really
Way
Think
Expenses

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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
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He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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Death is an acquired trait.
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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