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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Greatness
Standing
Thing
More quotes by Woody Allen
The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
Woody Allen
I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
Woody Allen
Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
Woody Allen
There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
Woody Allen
I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody Allen
If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
Woody Allen
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
Woody Allen
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen
Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
Woody Allen
God is either cruel or incompetent.
Woody Allen
Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Woody Allen
Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
Woody Allen
Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
Woody Allen
Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
Woody Allen
I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
Woody Allen
Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
Woody Allen
When you make the film, there's a big difference between when you're in your own home at the typewriter, and when you're standing on a mountain, or on a street corner, and buses are coming by-it's a different reality. You make a million changes that were never in the script, but that reality dictates.
Woody Allen
