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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Everything
Witty
Good
Humorous
Meat
Red
Sun
Parents
College
Cute
Parent
Milk

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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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