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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Whole
Otherwise
Important
Missing
Life
Laughing
Philosophy
Suffering
Point
Laughs
Littles
Suffer
Little
Miss

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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
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In real life I'm not the character I play in my films. I'm reasonably competent, I work very hard, I'm disciplined, I lead a very middle class life. I work in the mornings, I have lunch, I practise my clarinet, I go to the movies, I eat out in restaurants or watch ball games on television or at the ball games.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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