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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Little
Miss
Whole
Otherwise
Important
Missing
Life
Laughing
Philosophy
Suffering
Point
Laughs
Littles
Suffer

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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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