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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Nature
Love

More quotes by Woody Allen

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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
Woody Allen
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
Woody Allen
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
Woody Allen
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
Woody Allen
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen
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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
Woody Allen
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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
Woody Allen
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I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
Woody Allen
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My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
Woody Allen
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody Allen
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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Woody Allen
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
Woody Allen
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
Woody Allen
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
Woody Allen
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Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
Woody Allen
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
Woody Allen
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I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
Woody Allen