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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Doctor
Doctors
Death
Order
Anything
Orders
More quotes by Woody Allen
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
Woody Allen
When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
Woody Allen
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
Woody Allen
The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
Woody Allen
Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
Woody Allen
I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
Woody Allen
If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
Woody Allen
My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
Woody Allen
Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
Woody Allen
