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Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Shoot
Air
Standing
Never
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You can't anticipate in the room the riches of what you encounter when you're location hunting for a movie.
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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Life's hard, then you die.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
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Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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