Quote

Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Ten
Dentist
Machines
Blink
Minutes
Flew
Head
Rays
Gauguin
Eyes
Machine
Dentists
Hours
Several
Impressionists
Eye
Held
Unison
Straight
Frenzy

More quotes by Woody Allen

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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
Woody Allen
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
Woody Allen
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Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
Woody Allen
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
Woody Allen
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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen
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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
Woody Allen
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Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
Woody Allen
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
Woody Allen
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I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Woody Allen
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
Woody Allen
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You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
Woody Allen
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Woody Allen
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
Woody Allen
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When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
Woody Allen
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
Woody Allen
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
Woody Allen