Quote

Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Eyes
Machine
Dentists
Hours
Several
Impressionists
Eye
Held
Unison
Straight
Frenzy
Ten
Dentist
Machines
Blink
Minutes
Flew
Head
Rays
Gauguin

More quotes by Woody Allen

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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Woody Allen
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I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
Woody Allen
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I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Woody Allen
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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
Woody Allen
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Those who can't do, teach!
Woody Allen
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Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
Woody Allen
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
Woody Allen
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Life's hard, then you die.
Woody Allen
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
Woody Allen
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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
Woody Allen
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
Woody Allen
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
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I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
Woody Allen
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
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Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
Woody Allen
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
Woody Allen
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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
Woody Allen
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen