Quote

Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Hours
Several
Impressionists
Eye
Held
Unison
Straight
Frenzy
Ten
Dentist
Machines
Blink
Minutes
Flew
Head
Rays
Gauguin
Eyes
Machine
Dentists

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
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I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
Woody Allen
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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Woody Allen
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
Woody Allen
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Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
Woody Allen
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
Woody Allen
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
Woody Allen
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody Allen
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Woody Allen
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Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.
Woody Allen
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It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
Woody Allen
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
Woody Allen
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
Woody Allen
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
Woody Allen
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
Woody Allen
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
Woody Allen
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There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.
Woody Allen