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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
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In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
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