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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Church
Religion
Christian
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Garage
Witty
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Car
Standing
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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One filmmaker makes films that are deep, intellectual, profound and confrontational. And the other one makes purely vacuous, escapist films. I'm not sure the one who makes escapist films is making a poorer contribution than the one who makes the deeper films.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
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I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
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