Quote

Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Church
Religion
Christian
Makes
Garage
Witty
Humorous
Car
Standing

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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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