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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Standing
Church
Religion
Christian
Makes
Garage
Witty
Humorous
Car
More quotes by Woody Allen
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
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I'd like to make a great movie. I've made many movies. I think I've made some good movies, but I never felt I've made a great movie.
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
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If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
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Why ruin a good story with the truth?
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
Woody Allen
I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
