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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Beowulf
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More quotes by Woody Allen
What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
Woody Allen
This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
Woody Allen
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
Woody Allen
Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
Woody Allen
I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
Woody Allen
Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
Woody Allen
My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
Woody Allen
I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
Woody Allen
When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
Woody Allen
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen
People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
Woody Allen
We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
Woody Allen
If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
Woody Allen
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
Woody Allen
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Woody Allen
With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
Woody Allen
That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
Woody Allen
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
Woody Allen
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
