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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Class
Read
School
Take
Beowulf
More quotes by Woody Allen
Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
Woody Allen
When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
Woody Allen
People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
Woody Allen
My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
Woody Allen
Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
Woody Allen
If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
Woody Allen
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Woody Allen
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Woody Allen
In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
Woody Allen
I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
Woody Allen
I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
Woody Allen
I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
Woody Allen
I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
Woody Allen
I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
Woody Allen
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen
All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
Woody Allen
I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
Woody Allen
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen
