Quote

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Children
Slow
Evening
Maria
Asked
Adjusted
Bring
Teresa
Child
Discussed
Girl
Agreed
Wells
Testament
Well
Sister

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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
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The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term demonstration. If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass.
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I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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