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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
School
Witty
Teachers
Schools
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Teacher
Went
Dismal
Education
Disturbed
Funny
Mentally
More quotes by Woody Allen
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
Woody Allen
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Woody Allen
I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
Woody Allen
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
Woody Allen
Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
Woody Allen
In real life I'm not the character I play in my films. I'm reasonably competent, I work very hard, I'm disciplined, I lead a very middle class life. I work in the mornings, I have lunch, I practise my clarinet, I go to the movies, I eat out in restaurants or watch ball games on television or at the ball games.
Woody Allen
All i have in my life is my imagination
Woody Allen
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
Woody Allen
Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
Woody Allen
Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
Woody Allen
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
Woody Allen
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen
I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
Woody Allen
Life's hard, then you die.
Woody Allen
My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
Woody Allen
If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen
