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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Series
Teacher
Went
Dismal
Education
Disturbed
Funny
Mentally
School
Witty
Teachers
Schools

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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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The wicked at heart probably know something.
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Take the money and run.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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