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The heart wants what it wants.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Logical
Witty
Desperate
Humorous
Logic
Wants
Heart
Adore

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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
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Subjectivity is objective.
Woody Allen
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
Woody Allen
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I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
Woody Allen
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
Woody Allen