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The heart wants what it wants.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Logic
Wants
Heart
Adore
Logical
Witty
Desperate

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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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I don't rely on anybody except my own judgment. I don't get much input. I don't know if that's helped me or if I would be better off if I did rely on someone.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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Take the money and run.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
Woody Allen
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My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
Woody Allen
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
Woody Allen
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
Woody Allen
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
Woody Allen