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The heart wants what it wants.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Logic
Wants
Heart
Adore
Logical
Witty
Desperate

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Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
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Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
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The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
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I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
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Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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