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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Left
Blank
Life
Witty
Humorous
Test
Tests
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Existentialism
Funny
Existential

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
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Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
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Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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