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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Summer
Took
Wonder
House
Crete
Socrates
Plato

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.
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Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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The movie is usually, for me, something organic that grows all the time. I sit home and write it, and I'm in an isolated, four-walled environment, and I don't know what's going on. I just write it, and it's appearing in my head in some idealized way where every single moment works, and every little thing is perfect, because it's in my head.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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