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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Crete
Socrates
Plato
Summer
Took
Wonder
House
More quotes by Woody Allen
You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
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Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
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