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Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
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Film Actor
Film Director
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Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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All i have in my life is my imagination
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Death is an acquired trait.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
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I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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