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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Liberty
Lasts
Last
Woman
Statue
Statues
Witty

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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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I have a limitless amount of great music at my disposal and it's very, very pleasurable because when the music goes on the film it's amazing how much it livens up the film and gives it an emotional kick in the pants, sort of.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
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People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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