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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Liberty
Lasts
Last
Woman
Statue
Statues
Witty

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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
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My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
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Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
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Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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