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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Mine
Hero
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Predicament
Predicaments
Obsessed
Pleasant
More quotes by Woody Allen
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
Woody Allen
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen
Marriage is the death of hope.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
Woody Allen
All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
Woody Allen
I see the glass half full...but of poison.
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Woody Allen
All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
Woody Allen
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
Woody Allen
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
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Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
Woody Allen
There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
Woody Allen
Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
Woody Allen
