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You can't ride two horses with one behind.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Alabama
Horses
Ride
Horse
Behinds
Behind
Two

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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
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I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
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Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
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