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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Notches
Kafka
Witty
Humorous
Esteem
Self
Notch
More quotes by Woody Allen
The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
Woody Allen
I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
I read in self-defense.
Woody Allen
Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
Woody Allen
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen
All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
Woody Allen
I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
Woody Allen
[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
Woody Allen
A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
Woody Allen
I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
Woody Allen
With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
Woody Allen
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
Woody Allen
I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
Woody Allen
When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
Woody Allen
Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
Woody Allen
I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
Woody Allen