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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Esteem
Self
Notch
Notches
Kafka
Witty
Humorous

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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
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Life is for the living.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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All i have in my life is my imagination
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
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