Quote

I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wondered
Woods
Walking
Christ
Thinking
Bookshelves
Carpenter
Charged

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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
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All i have in my life is my imagination
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
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If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts lie in comedy and so comedy comes fairly easy to me and I occasionally have an idea for a very serious piece and I do it, but the ideas don't come that readily to me.
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[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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