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I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Bookshelves
Carpenter
Charged
Wondered
Woods
Walking
Christ
Thinking

More quotes by Woody Allen

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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
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It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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Life is for the living.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
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There's no correlation between what the public likes and what I'm after. I'm in a different world.
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I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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