Quote

I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wondered
Woods
Walking
Christ
Thinking
Bookshelves
Carpenter
Charged

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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
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How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
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