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I can levitate birds. No one cares.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Care
Levitate
Cares
Birds
Witty
Humorous
Bird
Ability

More quotes by Woody Allen

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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
Woody Allen
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
Woody Allen
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
Woody Allen
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Woody Allen
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
Woody Allen
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
Woody Allen
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody Allen
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
Woody Allen
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
Woody Allen
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The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
Woody Allen
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
Woody Allen
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Woody Allen
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
Woody Allen
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
Woody Allen
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
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I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
Woody Allen