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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Copy
Copies
Honey
Witty
Humorous
Bring
Eraser
Erasers
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
I think I've gotten technically better over the years but you'd have to be a fool not to. I've made so many movies that by sheer quantity you get better at the technique.
Woody Allen
Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a position. If you want to say something about your position, you can just say it. You don't have to spend massive amounts of screen time.
Woody Allen
What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
Woody Allen
God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
Woody Allen
People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
Woody Allen
I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
Woody Allen
There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
Woody Allen
There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
Woody Allen
I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
Woody Allen
Me and nature are two.
Woody Allen
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
Woody Allen
When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
