Quote

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Bring
Eraser
Erasers
Copy
Copies
Honey
Witty

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
Woody Allen
Image
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen
Image
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
Woody Allen
Image
To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
Woody Allen
Image
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
Woody Allen
Image
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
Image
Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations.
Woody Allen
Image
I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
Woody Allen
Image
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen
Image
I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
Image
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
Woody Allen
Image
I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
Woody Allen
Image
Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
Image
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
Image
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
Image
God is either cruel or incompetent.
Woody Allen
Image
My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
Woody Allen
Image
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
Image
I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
Woody Allen
Image
A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
Woody Allen