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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Place
Reality
Stills
Still
Best
Steak
Good
Witty
Humorous
Hate
More quotes by Woody Allen
My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
Woody Allen
I have a limitless amount of great music at my disposal and it's very, very pleasurable because when the music goes on the film it's amazing how much it livens up the film and gives it an emotional kick in the pants, sort of.
Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
Woody Allen
I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Woody Allen
And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Woody Allen
When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
Woody Allen
When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
Woody Allen
I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.
Woody Allen
Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
Woody Allen
I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
Woody Allen
Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
Woody Allen
My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
Woody Allen
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
Woody Allen
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
Woody Allen
[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
Woody Allen
Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
Woody Allen
Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
Woody Allen
I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
Woody Allen
