Quote

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Good
Witty
Humorous
Hate
Place
Reality
Stills
Still
Best
Steak

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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Take the money and run.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want
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When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.
Woody Allen
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
Woody Allen
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
Woody Allen
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
Woody Allen
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Woody Allen