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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Reality
Stills
Still
Best
Steak
Good
Witty
Humorous
Hate
Place
More quotes by Woody Allen
I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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There's no correlation between what the public likes and what I'm after. I'm in a different world.
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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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All i have in my life is my imagination
Woody Allen
All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
Woody Allen
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
Woody Allen
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen
Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
Woody Allen
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen