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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Tried
Drinkers
Humor
Elevators
Funny
Cuba
Spirit
Jack
Two
Spirits
Martinis
Body
Tolerate
Drinker
Years
Witty
Martini
Really
Humorous
Elevator
More quotes by Woody Allen
If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
Woody Allen
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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Life's hard, then you die.
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?
Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
Woody Allen
It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
Woody Allen
I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
Woody Allen
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
Woody Allen
I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
Woody Allen
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
Woody Allen