Quote

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Two
Spirits
Martinis
Body
Tolerate
Drinker
Years
Witty
Martini
Really
Humorous
Elevator
Tried
Drinkers
Humor
Elevators
Funny
Cuba
Spirit
Jack

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
Woody Allen
Image
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen
Image
With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
Woody Allen
Image
I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
Woody Allen
Image
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
Image
Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
Image
Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
Woody Allen
Image
Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
Woody Allen
Image
I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
Woody Allen
Image
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
Image
I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
Image
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
Image
You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
Woody Allen
Image
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Woody Allen
Image
Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
Woody Allen
Image
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
Image
90 per cent of success is turning up.
Woody Allen
Image
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Woody Allen
Image
No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
Woody Allen
Image
I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
Woody Allen