Quote

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Two
Cop
Give
Cigarette
Giving
Broke
Trying
Teeth
Puff
Dance
Statue
Took
Cops
Liberty
Fraternity
Wrong
Statues

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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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