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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wrong
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Two
Cop
Give
Cigarette
Giving
Broke
Trying
Teeth
Puff
Dance
Statue
Took
Cops
Liberty
Fraternity
More quotes by Woody Allen
We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
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My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
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You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
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Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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