Quote

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dance
Statue
Took
Cops
Liberty
Fraternity
Wrong
Statues
Two
Cop
Give
Cigarette
Giving
Broke
Trying
Teeth
Puff

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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
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The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
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