Quote

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Trying
Teeth
Puff
Dance
Statue
Took
Cops
Liberty
Fraternity
Wrong
Statues
Two
Cop
Give
Cigarette
Giving
Broke

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Life is for the living.
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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
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Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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I hope you're getting this down.
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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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I am plagued by doubts.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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