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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Would
Men
Witty
Shut
Humorous
God
Silent
Mankind
Silence

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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
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