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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
God
Silent
Mankind
Silence
Would
Men
Witty
Shut
More quotes by Woody Allen
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody Allen
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen
All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
Woody Allen
I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
Woody Allen
Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
Woody Allen
I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
Woody Allen
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
Woody Allen
Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
Woody Allen
No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
Woody Allen
Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
Woody Allen
The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
Woody Allen
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
Woody Allen
