Quote

My brain? It's my second favorite organ!

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Organs
Witty
Humorous
Favorite
Second
Brain
Organ

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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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When you make the film, there's a big difference between when you're in your own home at the typewriter, and when you're standing on a mountain, or on a street corner, and buses are coming by-it's a different reality. You make a million changes that were never in the script, but that reality dictates.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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The wicked at heart probably know something.
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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
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Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
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Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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