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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Favorite
Second
Brain
Organ
Organs
More quotes by Woody Allen
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
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To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
Woody Allen
Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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I'm a creature of the New York City streets.
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Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
Woody Allen
I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
Woody Allen
