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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Atheist
Basically
Atheism
Philosophy
Atheistic
Worst
Metaphysics
Turns
Agnostic
More quotes by Woody Allen
If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
Woody Allen
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
Woody Allen
Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
Woody Allen
It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
Woody Allen
Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations.
Woody Allen
When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
Woody Allen
I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
Woody Allen
I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.
Woody Allen
The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
Woody Allen
When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
Woody Allen
There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
Woody Allen
When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Woody Allen
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
