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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Turns
Agnostic
Witty
Humorous
Atheist
Basically
Atheism
Philosophy
Atheistic
Worst
Metaphysics
More quotes by Woody Allen
You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
Woody Allen
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
Woody Allen
People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
Woody Allen
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
Woody Allen
Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
You can't ride two horses with one behind.
Woody Allen
I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
Woody Allen
I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
Woody Allen
If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
Woody Allen
I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
Woody Allen
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
Woody Allen
What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
Woody Allen
If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
Woody Allen
Marriage is the death of hope.
Woody Allen
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Woody Allen
