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Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Stopped
Exactly
Sleep
April
Year
Hitler
Remember
Sleeping
Come
Date
Years
Honey
Birthday
More quotes by Woody Allen
I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
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My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
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Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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