Quote

Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sticks
Strokes
Forgiving
Toes
Forward
Orange
Please
Required
Onto
Fell
Forgive
Plunged
Stick
Stroke

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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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Me and nature are two.
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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